The Consequences of Longing

The cozy, comfortable and modest little life of a happy couple, Jenny and Clifford Nelson, unravels when Clifford, a 40-something commuter airline pilot, develops heart trouble and loses his job.
Something about the harrowing surgery he endures, and his newly acute awareness of mortality, turns the memory of an old girlfriend — the first girl he ever loved — into an obsession: he must find out what became of her.
When he does learn her fate, the news appalls him but his craving for one more moment in her arms does not cease. It explodes.
His unhinged search for her reveals a secret Clifford has been keeping from himself all along — a secret about life and loss that adolescent longings merely cloak.
"The Consequences of Longing" is a literary novel and it's not intended for readers looking for a light, fun read. It explores a flawed, less than lovable character and how his flaws — and the challenges of life, family history and mortality —disrupt his marriage.
Told both from Jenny's point of view and Clifford's, "The Consequences of Longing" is about the mysteries and clouds that cloak our lives and loves. Jenny, a woman with memories she works to hide, is the stronger figure — and yet somehow she is the most frail and vulnerable.
Clifford proves to have hidden much as well. Guilt for his older brother's disastrous life reveals itself as his own crisis unfolds.
This is an unusual midlife story to which both men and women can connect.
Also vailable as a print-on-demand paperback from Northshire Bookstore in Manchester, Vermont and through Barnes & Noble.(less)

"Skillful, gripping, brilliant story of love, loss, and delusion. Highly recommended" — Paul Sherman, Goodreads

"Brilliant. Intense & moving. Definitely for intelligent adults ... Not only do the themes resonate throughout the different time periods & places & even careers of 4 decades of several lives, but the writing itself is beautiful. ... I actually have to be honest and admit that I know few people who are ready to slow down a bit and read something that will challenge them to think about life, love, sanity, beauty, family, sex, and sorrow. ..."
— Cheryl in CC Nev, Goodreads