Stupid Jokes, Short Funny Jokes and Funny One Liners: Wit, Wisdom and Weirdness!

There is a time and place for every joke.
Just as there is a time and place for every person.
Even if that person is a waste of time and space.

At our last 25 year school reunion, I was speaking to a beautiful, blonde girl who had always been one of the “in” crowd at school. She had married rich, which was also my ambition in life, and had practiced being shallow in many areas of expertise. Making small talk, I said to her, “It’s amazing how time passes, eh?”

Beautiful blonde brushed back a strand of shining hair from her forehead, screwed up her nose in the most cute fashion, a fashion that, to quote a great writer, would have made a Bishop kick a hole in a stained glass window, and replied to me seriously, “I know exactly what you mean. One minute it is, like, three o’clock and before you know it, it is, like four o’clock.”

God I loved that girl.

The only things that kept us apart were:

I am not good looking.
I am not rich.

Knowing when to pull out a joke – and, more importantly, when not to, makes all the difference between bringing the house down and bringing the house down on you.

For example: I was working in a Human Resources department for a large multi-national and the HR Manager was bemoaning how she had to weed through so many applications for the one position. I helpfully pointed out that my method was to split the applications into two piles and then throw one of the piles in the bin, as I didn’t want to work with unlucky people anyway.

I thought it was funny.

Oddly enough, I no longer work in HR.

There are millions of jokes out there. Not all of them people. But all of those jokes are just waiting for the perfect time to be told. Read the following jokes and laugh. At some time in the near future you will find that life presents to you exactly the right moment to throw one out there.

Laughter is good. You should laugh as much as possible every day. If you can bring laughter into the lives of others, you will be sought out and make friends easily. And remember, women always say they love a guy who can make them laugh.

Or is good looking and rich.

I can respect that.