South Mouth - Hillbilly Wisdom, Redneck Observations & Good Ol’ Boy Logic
This Book Makes a Great Gift!
Cooter Brown offers up an unparalleled collection of over 500 examples of Hillbilly Wisdom, Redneck Observations and Good Ol' Boy logic in "South Mouth". lt's a very funny -- and often insightful -- book.
In the tradition of rural America (especially the South), we welcome you to come in, sit a spell and sample some of the unique ways we express ourselves. You'll get a heapin' helping of "South Mouth"
If things aren't going well:
"I'm as bad off as a rubber-nosed woodpecker in a petrified forest."
If a co-worker is lazy:
"They call him "blister" because he doesn't show up until the work is done."
If the temperature is falling outside:
"It's gonna be colder than a cast iron commode on the shady side of an iceberg."
If a job is frustrating:
"It's like trying to nail Jell-O to a tree."
If you' re ready for dinner:
"I' m so hungry I could eat a stink bug off a dead skunk."
If someone is less than attractive:
"If I had a dog as ugly as him, I' d shave its butt and make it walk backwards."
If your wallet is empty:
"If a trip around the world cost a dollar, I couldn't get to the state line."
If you' re describing a winding road:
"The road was so crooked you could see your own tail lights."
If someone is acting less than intelligent:
"He' s a seven story buildin' with a five story elevator."
Who knows, maybe you'll end up spicing up your conversation with some of colorful language and become a "South Mouth" yourself. Or maybe not. Either way, take it from Cooter Brown,
"You'll have a good ol' time."