LEFTOVERS FROM THE LAST SUPPER

As we now find ourselves firmly ensconced in the initial stages of the new millennium, in spite of our opinions of the modern self as being more €œenlightened,€ the trepidations concomitant with such events past: calamitous climatic changes, pestilence, war, famine, cataclysmic cosmic collisions, Y2K, KY, IRS, Armageddon, are no less prevalent today than in days of yore.
Understandably, the prospects of such an uncertain and turbulent future often veer some of us to faith for comfort and guidance. Ironically, a significant segment of humankind even sees the Final Salvation in such catastrophes. However, while most religions serve to satiate both heart and mind for many of us, for some, it fulfills the wallet as well; this is a story of one of these prophets.
In this modern age of ours -- when low profits are to be more maligned than are false ones -- comes this luciferous lucubration proffering the return of Jesus Christ, but without the much heralded attendant apocalyptic fanfare predicted in the Bible and offering what will most surely be the ultimate test in faith for his followers.
And what is the world to make of the possible appearance of both Jesus and Jesse/Elvis, wrapped up into one Second Coming? Then, throw into that mix the first illegal alien of the cosmological kind and a much touted reunion of the original Beatles, and readers will be earnestly praying for a delay in the real Second Coming, at least long enough to allow them to finish reading this exegesis.
I offer this biting satire that is sure to leave both its targets and readers in stitches in one form or another. Foregoing the reading of this work will be a cross that you will have to bear.
You€ve heard of the Old Testament, you€ve heard of the New Testament, now, translated directly from Glossolalia, comes the world€s Newest Testament: LEFTOVERS FROM THE LAST SUPPER, a novel account of the return of Jesus Christ and how he is received by those who make their living delivering him. LEFTOVERS FROM THE LAST SUPPER, a work 2014 years in the making, is the Better Book that takes over from where the Good Book leaves off.
Reverend €œBurley€ Jesus (pronounced hay seuss) McWhurley, the nation€s most prominent preeminent all-media evangelist, embarks on a nationwide debating tour with E. Mason Hyde, an obscure writer, to raise money for creating the greatest cathedral in Christendom that God has apparently directed him to build in Beverly Hills.
Hyde, who spends most of the time trying to be irreverent but mainly manages only to be irrelevant, is merely interested in generating publicity for selling his newly published book, THE GENTILE EXPERIENCE.
However, when the tour is over, Hyde is startled to find a Stranger at his door who is claiming that he is Jesus (pronounced Je sus) Christ. This Stranger, who calls himself €œJesus,€ has been unsuccessful in his many attempts to meet with Burley and his lack of success, combined with the failure of others to take him seriously, forces Jesus €“ in spite of the trillions gathered in his name €“ to have to eke out a living as a stand-up comic while awaiting acceptance, and eventually to Hyde as a final desperate means of gaining access to Burley.
Hyde, a practicing atheist who follows his own views religiously, initially is agnostic. Is this Stranger professing to be Jesus merely a ploy by Burley, who would stand to gain much in the public€s eye from Hyde€s sudden €œfinding Jesus,€ especially with it coming so soon following the much publicized/profitable tour?
Is this Stranger purporting to be Jesus just another wretched mental defect who honestly believes that he is Jesus? Or is this Stranger in reality Jesus Christ, making what would have to be billed as history€s Ultimate Comeback? If the Second Coming is going to be anything such as this, not only will it cause the rest of us to have second thoughts but Christians had better pray there€ll be a Third Coming.