Floaty Pants Hands-Free Party Floatation Device (Sexy Thong, M)

The future of floating is here! For far too long we have been forced to choose between sitting in the boat or struggling to keep upright on noodles or saddles in the water. Until now. The human race has finally created Floaty Pants, the revolutionary new technology that is keeping humans "afloat" by allowing us to navigate the waters in exceptional comfort. Strap into your favorite Floaty Pants today and join the movement!FLOATY FACTS:Stuffed with the floatiest of floaty stuff in the history of floaty stuff (moisture-resistant EPE foam)Hands free to allow for snacks, drinks, and pool gamesOuter fabric made of water-resistant nylon for plenty of floaty good timesCrotch area made out of soft, flexible neoprene for maximum comfort where it counts42% sexier than traditional life jackets47% sexier than pool noodlesBONUS FACT: swim fins were invented by Benjamin Franklin at age 11TWO SIZES:Medium: recommended for 100 - 180 pounds, 15" wide across backLarge: recommended for 170 - 300 pounds, 17" wide across backHOW TO WEAR Floaty Pants: Floaty Pants are super fun and comfortable but first you need to learn how to wear them properly so they don't ride up on you! It's easy: hop into your Floaty Pants and sit your bum comfortably on the back part of the float. Position the super comfy neoprene crotch area up front to float in maximum comfort. Lastly, buckle up and adjust your straps for the perfect fit!WARNING: may result in excessively fun floaty times!