Fat, Drunk & Stupid Ale, Beer Making Extract Kit

We're not going to say that an intellectual challenge for you is finding your ass with a roadmap, and we're certainly not going to say you're a dim-witted, dribble-chinned pork belly, but let's face it, when you've finally achieved that special echelon where your waistline matches your IQ, what better a way to celebrate than to pound a few pints of Fat, Drunk & Stupid Ale? After all, your speech is characterized by simple mutterings like "dahhh..." or "ohhh..." instead of multi-sibyllic constructions like "a luminous auburn brew of depthful maltiness overlayed with silken caramel and a biscuity-honey counterpoint", but no matter. You just want your beer to taste yummy. Indeed, this tummy-tickling amber ale will astound you with the remarkable irony (though not likely you'll realize it) that the more of these beers you guzzle, you will have increased your waistline and lowered your IQ at the same time! So if boozy bubble-butt buffoonery is more of a motto to you than a mere suggestion, then perhaps its time to loosen that belt buckle, pour yourself a cold one, and stare vacantly into space, for tonight's theme is intellectual no-vacancy, and we'll all raise a toast to you, our roly-poly, schnockered, simple minded friend!