Borderline Personality Disorder: Don't Judge Me For Being BPD Until You've Walked a Mile In My Shoes

(Publisher's Note - You can get this and FOUR OTHER stories written by BPD authors in a combined anthology book called, "Borderline Personality Disorder: Riveting Stories, Suggested Strategies from 5 Women Diagnosed with BPD". Get it today - all 5 stories at 1 heavily discounted price in the Kindle Book Store!)

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This is my story. It is not fancy. It is my daily struggle with being diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. I am a mother of five, I am pregnant with my sixth, as I write this.

I invite you to see into my world. I want you to take out of my story, hope for the future. Life isn€t easy for me. My mind is cloudy and unfocused. I try non-chemical treatments before resorting to taking medications. I watch my children as one of them begins to show signs of the disorder. I fight for hope. I fight for peace. I fight for the pain to end.

Join me as I take you on this journey. Please do not judge me. Just read and listen. Try to see what I face as I try to make the daily decisions that come with raising five beautiful children. If you are facing this with your family I hope it gives you a reason not to give up. I hope it gives you a reason to hope and love. I am not promising that it will be an easy read. I hope it is engaging, enlightening, and hopeful. I hope it brings peace to someone out there, at least in knowing that you are not alone.

I needed to tell my story. It was not easy to look back at some of the things that I went through and the pain that I caused, but I think in some ways it did give me closure. Especially some of the things I went through with my mom, as she too has been diagnosed with the affliction. Forgiveness is not easy. Having Borderline Personality Disorder did add to my getting a divorce. I caused a lot of pain and suffering simply because I couldn€t find my way. I am now aware of my problems. I have hope that I can stop the repeating cycles that keep causing the pain. I hope I can find forgiveness one day - both me towards my mom (I AM getting there, as she is making progress with her own BPD), as well as others towards forgiving me, even if it is too late for my marriage.

If somebody you care about has BPD, maybe you will have a better understanding of what is going on in your loved one's head after reading about what goes on in mine. That is my sincere hope.